Long lost blog

It's been about 3 months since I've opened this blog - I'd like to think that I was too busy living life to write it down :]

Things are good, very good actually. Life seemed to settle itself into a productive and lively little existence and I'm content.

I really don't know what to write about at the moment, so maybe later?

I forgot

hows things used to be, and then when I remembered I realized I don't miss them anymore.

Editors Note: Senior Project 1

Part of my ever growing senior project...

Cities everywhere have always possessed a certain charm. No matter how dirty, no matter how old, there is something about being surrounded by people, buildings, and the pure life force that is present in an urban city. For a lot of us, the dream of moving to a big city and conquering the world has an intoxicating power to it. We all want to be that girl in the city that has it all.

I remember the first time I went to the city by myself; it was simply an experience I will never forget. My city was and is San Francisco, and walking her streets alone that one night was all it took; I had fallen in love with everything she had to offer. The bright city street was teeming with people, the noise and chaos swelling up around me. The honking of horns, the click of heels, the sound of people yelling, the smells of different cultures all wafting down the street from all the restaurants. It was an overload of my senses and I loved every second of it. I stopped walking and stood there listening intently, taking in the sounds I was hearing. It was like a symphony started to form in my head and the city was following along with it, all its chaos creating a beautiful harmony. In that moment, all was peaceful. It’s the noise of life, of us moving forward and creating the next step of our life’s that inspires. I took one last look around me that night before moving on, and noticed something. Now my version of this story is something I imagined in my own head, a little story I created with two characters. What really happened that night I’ll never know, but it seemed fitting at that moment. A girl was crossing the street, quickly putting distance between herself and whatever she had left on the corner. Her quick movements were what caught my eye, since everyone else around her moved with a casual air. As she got to the other side, she slowly turned around and looked back to the other corner. Standing there was a boy, who looked lonely and wounded on that city street corner. His eyes watched her as she stared solemnly at him. She gave him one last lingering gaze and turned away from him, and took a confident step down the street, disappearing into the mass of people. I looked back at the boy, who was still standing there. It could have been 10 minutes, it could have been 3 seconds, but the world seemed to stop for that boy, till he too finally turned and walked away into the masses. I’ve heard quite a few times that we move to big cities for dreams, for love. To me, we go to find ourselves, and it seemed to me that this girl picked herself, picked her life instead of whatever romance tale she had created with said boy. While love is important in life, sometimes it’s beneficial to look around you and see what life has to offer. This lookbook, The Tango of Two Cities is my expression and creative child of this story. The story of girls in urban cities, the tango they dance as they spin their worlds into existence.

I love this weather

that is all

My opinion, and only mine

If you asked me what my religion is, I would say Christian. If you asked me if I believe in God, I would answer with a resounding yes. If someone asked of my view on life, faith and hope are two of the factors that brings me peace and balance and I am never shy or afraid to tell someone that.

That being said, many people have opinions on how you should live your life. Things you should abstain from, things you should rejoice in etc. I respect everyone's religion, opinions and views on life - because that is their life, not mine. I do not believe as human beings we have any right whatsoever to tell someone they are wrong. However, I am very tired of people telling me about sins, about right and wrong - like they actually have the authority to tell me these things.

If I offend anyone with this post then I'm sorry, but this is my opinion and it does not have to be yours. I believe in God. Does that mean I need to abstain from drinking? That I need to abstain from having sex? That I must dress a certain way, or speak a certain way? That I must constantly feel GUILT every time I do something that is not of the proper order?

Do not question my life, do not lecture me on sex. Sex is a beautiful thing, and though I tried with all my might to convince myself to believe it was for marriage only - alas I can not. Love is not something that is based solely off marriage. I believe love of many shapes and sizes will grace your life many times, and sex is apart of that cycle. I do not see it as a bad thing, I wasn't raised that way. I do not see having a couple of drinks out with friends deems me any less fit to have faith than another person.

To me, life is about kalos kai agathos - the balance of the good & the beautiful. The balance between life and God. I choose how I live that life, and I feel no guilt for that.

I need coffee

thoughts

I haven't been to church in almost 4 months - I'm not sure what happened...