Sisters

"My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge."
-Colossians 2:2-3

Everything God does is for a reason - last night many things that confused me finally made sense. Why was God sending me all these horrible men? Why was I even having a difficult time relating to my best friend? It seemed like whenever there was a man involved it just wasn't going to be a good thing. While my bitterness towards men has cooled, I still have no desire to date. I know one day someone will change my mind but when that is I don't know. However, through all of this - through my pain and anger..He brought me something else.

My entire life I've always had more guy friends then girl friends. Usually because girls irritated me more. Over the past couple of months I've actually gained quite a few girlfriends who have been just amazing. Last night I got back one of my sisters, and I know God did it for a reason. I relied to much on men to get what I wanted, that's really not always a good practice. Looking at a woman for help...well I just never really did that. So I'm happy to say another part of the old me is officially dead, because I no longer harbor negative feelings towards having a bunch of girlfriends, it's actually quite fun :]

Last night also made me realize...we really all are not perfect. In fact, we're pretty unperfect. But that's what makes us who we are, what makes us strive to be better, to do what God want's for our life's. So once again I decided to practice my patience, to not lead with emotion or feeling, and to not anger quickly. There really is no point too, for how can I judge someone when I do worse?

I feel good today though, my faith doesn't falter and I just have to keep walking down the right path.

Humbled..

Proverbs 10:12
Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.

1 Corinthians 13:1-8a and 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails....And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

--I asked Him for patience last night. To help me understand others when I can't seem too and to help me forgive those who have angered me. I wrote off my anger last night towards men who don't even deserve a moment of my thought. They are of the world...what did I really except anyways?

I am humbled at this moment - who am I to serve others? I serve one..I serve God. There is nothing more important than that.

I asked Him to help others understand me, to realize that love is all those things above but they must be shared. I asked Him to shower us all in His love and give us hope to do this the way we should.

I am forever grateful that He is there as He is..without him there would be nothing in this life but an empty shell..I continue to grow in awe more and more, and I still continue to fall. But I get back up with His help and move forward, I learn to forgive, I learn to listen, and while I still have much to learn..I know His patience.

MAYBE ITS A GOOD THING

but I really feel like I am over the male population. Boys seriously need to figure out whatever it is that's gone wrong with them over the years. Now I'm not saying girls are perfect because tons of them are tools too but right now I'm just sick of the boys. I would like to know if it really is necessary to act like a pig, to not PAY ATTENTION, to make no effort, to be obsessed with bodies, to think we're just objects and to just be tools. I don't get it..

I'm sick of being judged for what I do - when I'm not even doing anything wrong! I'm just trying to live my life. I go to work, I go to school, I do my internship, go to church. I hangout with my girls because lately they are the only ones I can talk to besides God. Which is totally odd for me..I usually got along with boys better - especially as friends. Now every guy I know is just making me angry. I can't wait till all this resentment towards guys goes away - I really don't like it but I think it might be a good thing because I have NO desire to be with one.

Maybe all it will take is that one guy who actually cares, actually pays attention to what your saying, calls you, wants to see you. Doesn't take you forgranted like the rest of them do.

On other notes - I've been doing really great at my internship lately and I'm super happy about that. Pamela even booked me a massage & facial :]

We have the Hamilton gala this Friday and I'm so excited to raise money for a good cause! I'll post pictures when I get them.

I'm off now..more later.

so I think its a good thing...

but I really feel like I am over the male population. Boys seriously need to figure out whatever it is that's gone wrong with them over the years. Now I'm not saying girls are perfect because tons of them are tools too but right now I'm just sick of the boys. I would like to know if it really is necessary to act like a pig, to not PAY ATTENTION, to make no effort, to be obsessed with bodies, to think we're just objects and to just be tools. I don't get it..

I'm sick of being judged for what I do - when I'm not even doing anything wrong! I'm just trying to live my life. I go to work, I go to school, I do my internship, go to church. I hangout with my girls because lately they are the only ones I can talk to besides God. Which is totally odd for me..I usually got along with boys better - especially as friends. Now every guy I know is just making me angry. I can't wait till all this resentment towards guys goes away - I really don't like it but I think it might be a good thing because I have NO desire to be with one.

Maybe all it will take is that one guy who actually cares, actually pays attention to what your saying, calls you, wants to see you. Doesn't take you forgranted like the rest of them do.

God - please hear this...I don't want to be bitter but I've lost SO much faith in guys its pathetic. Where is the one that will change my mind? The one that will love me for me and not judge me because of who I am. That will realize you are the only one who can judge me...at least I have you. For I have never lost faith in you nor will I.

Last night made it so obvious

So..I went on a date last night. Not really because I want to date, but because I wanted to see what I wanted to do. Let me just say, I now remember why it was I decided to wait and not date anymore. Ugh - men are disgusting. I hate to say it but its true. Whatever or whoever gave men the right to act like complete pigs in the hope of getting something is beyond me. This world is so disgusting sometimes, BUT in all of that God opened up my eyes once again and showed me what happens when I don't listen. Showed me what happens when I try to make these decisions on my own. Epic fail on my part - I shouldn't have gone out with last night. However, and I now say this with complete honestly - I am not dating anymore. I am done, finished, gone, no more...I will be patient for God to show me who I'm meant to be with.

OK..so lately I’ve just been so busy, it really never ends. Not that I don’t love it, because in many ways I really do – but its starting to take over my life. I try to make time for friends and to do fun things to help my stress level but I’m usually just thinking about work or my internship while I’m out – totally not cool!! Ok ok, that was my little rant. No more of that now :]

This past week or so has been great & horrible BUT I did manage to go out with the girls Friday AND Saturday night last weekend – even though I was fighting a cold that is still not going away might I add! It was so much fun – especially Molly Mcgee’s. I have to say that place was actually really fun – or maybe it was just because I had my lovely girls with me but whichever it was – its was totally flipping awesome. Not to mention Monique’s husband got waaaaaay silly and was dancing around like a little kid. Hilarious to watch from our little booth!

Wednesday night we went to a fashion show for Helium Magazine, they actually did a really nice job. I was super impressed with it and the designers were amazing! My favorite of course was Hector Manuel’s “Acta Non Verba” collection. He is a genius and I just love his clothes!! After the show we decided we were going to have 1 drink and then go home…well that didn’t really happen. We ended up at V Bar for Jess’s 21st [Happy Birthday love!!] and my oh my it was fun. I discovered my favorite drink ever!! Cherry Bomb you are a little glass of deliciousness!! It’s dark cherry flavored vodka with red bull – mmhhmmm. Then they called last call at 11:30 – blah too early! So we decided to transfer to a dive bar in Mountain View and stayed there way too late!! I was SO tired yesterday and this cold is just killing me.

So all in all – totally fun. Although tonight I am going to stay home!! No going out!! I have church at 7:30 and then I’m going home and getting in bed. Hopefully :]

Anyways, I have work to do – so I shall post on this thing later.