So I had a road block - a pretty big one actually. I totally failed the test I was so sure I could conquer and I was feeling really down about it. It took me almost 2 weeks to tell J about it - I was so ashamed I really didn't want to tell anyone. Even after I told someone...everything that was said was just words to me. They didn't make much of a difference to how I was feeling at that moment. I felt so far away from God and everything that I had accepted into my life over the past few months and it was incredibly draining. It was amazing to me at how quickly the world took over my life once again - when I didn't think that was possible. I didn't feel like I deserved to be forgiven even though that's why Jesus died..to forgive us for our sins even when we don't feel like we should be forgiven.
I hung out with J & SB last night and it was pretty awesome - they always make me laugh...when J walked me to the door he told me to look up 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 - that God told him to tell me to read that & that he has an amazing path for me. [You know sometimes I feel like J knows more than I do about my own walk & path with God - it seems God tells him more than he tells me!! whats up with that? :)] anyways - I read it and I was speechless. It was exactly how I had been feeling about the issues I was having with the "problem" & it just resonated deep within me. Because I am weak, I am strong...he gives me my strength & that is enough to win any trial I may hit down the road. I just need to accept that there will always be a thorn in my flesh but that it can make me stronger.
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