So a lot has changed the last couple of weeks - in an odd way I feel like I've grown a bit. You wouldn't think that you could "grow" in 2 weeks - but I really feel like I have.

I found a new church and so far I really love it there...there's something about it that just gives me peace. There's a college group there and I'm going to start going on Thursday so we'll see how it goes but so far the people I've met are super nice. While I miss my old church..I feel like leaving was the right thing to do. I really felt in my spirit that I needed to grow more and become a more independent Christian and holding on to my best friend wasn't the way to do that. While he's always there for me no matter what - I need to find my own place in church and in my Christian life. So far so good - I just hope it continues :]

What I'm struggling with the most is that I like someone who doesn't have my ideals for my future spouse. Which makes me wonder why I like him at all - if he isn't what I'm looking for? Love, lust, attraction - its all so confusing. While you feel one way and know what you need - you can still see something and then change your mind. It's quite annoying that our mind and hearts can be so flimsy...we really are nothing without the strength of God. However all this is - its spiritual warfare...it will always be here in any shape or form they can throw at us. So I learn and I pray - I listen to God to show me what he wants of me..and I move on.