Winter retreat was a very special end to 2009. This year has been simply amazing in more ways than I can ever explain, from finding God to the people who now grace my existence… its almost impossible to remember my life before all of this. He opened my eyes, He showed me His love and even though I still have far to go, I know I’ve grown so much already. Facing the world and what it has to offer you is seriously the biggest challenge I’ve ever undertaken. I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, it is so much easier to give in and not care than it is to stand up and say no. God didn’t make me weak for a reason, and that’s something I need to remember. I have that strength to stand up and say no, He gave it to me. Nothing against Him can win, there is no competition. Yet the world still continues to call to me and I know that will always be the way it is, I knew the world for such a long time that part of it will always call to my sinful side. I choose to overcome that obstacle though, since I can give it power or not.
The biggest thing I got from winter retreat was something I wasn’t really expecting. When I asked about my future, about what to do about my feelings, my desires, my wants. I was told that some things are better left unsaid until the time is right. If the time is not right then the words can hold nothing more than selfish confirmations of what we want but can not have [at least not yet] Patience will bring what I desire, and living my life without worrying about him for now.
God is beautiful <3
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